shake and bake

Dear speed racer in the black BMW,

This isn’t Talladega, it’s the Garden State Parkway.

I get that it has a lot of lanes, fun curves, and that my car is probably awesome enough to professionally race (sorry if that’s what threw you off), but you just can’t be bee-bopping in and out of lanes at 90 mph and not expect to get pulled over. Duh.

I really tried to be sympathetic when the cop took you out right in front me. Maybe you just finished off a Big Gulp and were headed towards some relief. I can empathize!


Or maybe you were so sick of your seemingly endless daily commute that you just snapped. I’ve been there!


But then I noticed your New York plates. Clearly you were just drivin’ like an a-hole. My sympathy ends here.

Sincerely,

me