back to bed

The alarm goes off at 5:45 a.m. It’s the latest possible time I can wake up and still manage to pre-coffee pee, wash my face, get dressed, apply spackle, let the dog out, pack for the day, get gas and be on the parkway in time to get into the office by 8 a.m. I get ready fast…as evidenced by my regularly disheveled ponytail.

Occasionally, I’ll wake up before the alarm, but oftentimes it startles me out of the best moments of my sleep. I find it quite interesting how those first thoughts of the morning– the ones that run through my mind as I’m mashing buttons trying to “dismiss” my alarm – are the ones that really set the tone for the rest of the day.

This morning, for example, I thought of how cozy I was all wrapped up in the comforter and snuggled in next to Super Yummy Boyfriend. But this morning was a good morning.

Other mornings? Not so much.

Here are the top five thoughts that go through my mind on those other mornings:

5. “Should I go with migraine, dead battery, or diarrhea? What is my supervisor’s number again?”

4. “What was it that just hit me? Was that my arm? Why can’t I feel my arm? It must be dead. What is my supervisor’s number again?”

3. “Is it that time already? What is my supervisor’s number again?”

2. “Is this really my life? What is my supervisor’s number again?”

And the thought that goes through my mind most often when my alarm goes off is…

1. “Sh*t.”

I am, like, so deep in the morning, right?