gtl

So this weekend I had the pleasure of visiting Seaside Heights for the first time. I had high hopes for achieving famousity a la Snooki or J-WOWW, but as I got ready for the evening, the real situation became quite clear:

• I’m not Italian.


• Tan, for me, means that my freckles have connected, and I probably need to go to the derm and have at least an eighth of them removed and tested.


• My hair is blonde and sports the volume of overcooked capelli d’angelo. Yeah, that’s right…the Irish/German girl speaks pasta (a.k.a. the international language of carbs), so you can go shove your self-righteous gnocchi you know where.


• I stopped going to the gym in 2005.


• I don’t do my own laundry. (BIG BIG LOVE and shout-outs to SYB for keeping my whites Clorox-white! I heart you.)


• And I really don’t “get” what’s so great about Seaside??? Seemed like a bunch of New Yorkers and scantily clad teenagers eating over-priced frozen custard and trying to puke it up on pier rides. I don’t trust any ride that could land me headfirst on wooden planks. Nor do I trust any shirt that doesn’t have a back. Apparently I just don't fit in. On the upside though, I almost paid to have my cards read which would have been super entertaining and my company provided truly enlightening commentary throughout the evening.

But anyway, so I know you come to this page tingling with anticipation, ready to read about my next driving escapade, and I’m sorry to disappoint you with a post that has nothing to do with my commute…or even driving. But I just had to point out that on a parkway full of exits (a.k.a. limitless possibilities)…the exit for Seaside is one that I might just not need to take again.

And as for my well-deserved famousity? Well…if I’m not going to be discovered in my favorite green tank top and my dungarees (I kinda love that word), then this blog is just gonna have to do it.

Plan of attack:

• Commute more often. With summer ending, so too have the days of Fridays off come to a close.


• Be more crabby. I don’t own a coffee machine. Enough said. Donations will be accepted.


• Write even awesomer fantasticalness that just cannot be ignored. See examples: The Sassy Curmudgeon and Red Means Go!


• Get more followers! See Tailgate Me! on righthand side.

And always make sure that the party’s HERE, b*tches!