pissing calvin

It was a hazy summer morning, and the kind of humid that makes you feel like you bathed in Aunt Jemima and then had a good wrestle with this guy:



The last sludgey squirts of Wawa cappuccino sputtered into my 20 oz., as I searched my pocket for proper change. Already (TIME STAMP – 06:27:18am) the glittery excitement of another day had worn its welcome, and I was shifting down into mental autopilot for the commute ahead.

It wasn’t long before I crept up on the tail of a black pickup bearing this little gem:



A pissing Calvin decal on a truck window – how terribly original.

But wait! There’s more! Next to Calvin was an entire stick figure family complete with kids. Well that certainly complicates things…I wasn't sure if I could figure this guy out.

Obviously the pissing Calvin/truck combo indicates a male driver in his mid-forties or so, with a receding hairline and some misinformed patch of facial hair. He’s still married, though his wife is not the type of woman impressed by pissing Calvins. She’s just got bigger fish to fry so she lets that one go. He’s a self-proclaimed manly man’s man, but really…we know his wife has the control in their relationship. He senses it too, thus he feels the need to publicly piss on his family from the front seat of his only lasting shell of manliness – his F150. It’s a Freudian thing.

I pulled up in the passing lane. Low and behold, he had a ‘stache. Gosh, I’m good.

I let him have his moment.