step right up

So there I was, eyes peeled back like Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange, sucking down a jug of caffeine and sugar, when IT happened.

Now granted, I slept poorly last night, woke up with a raging headache and – if I’m not mistaken – an eye twitch. I could have imagined IT. How could such an atrocity be real after all? Give the gal a second…a benefit of the doubt at least. But no, IT was actually happening. Ms. Saturn Vue was backing out of a toll lane.

Now, I can relate to not having exact change; but usually when this is the case I don’t approach the lane that only accepts exact change. But for pity’s sake…even if you do – in this wonky world where you can’t tell for sure which lane you’re approaching because the lines create this optical illusion that draws you in to the concrete dividers like moths to light - even if you fall victim to this DOT cruelty...who BACKS OUT OF THE WRONG TOLL LANE DURING RUSH HOUR?!?!

I sat frozen, amazement and wonder lifting the fog of my drowsiness. Ms. Saturn Vue continued to reverse, lights flashing like a tree at Christmas. It was truly dazzling.

It was in that moment, where time stopped and the world looked on, that I made my final commitment to something I’ve been debating for a long time. I am signing up for EZ-Pass.

And to Ms. Saturn Vue: I admire your courage to go against the grain. Next time, carry quarters.